Being a Good Man

It’s hard today to be a good man.  Hollywood doesn’t want you to.  Culture doesn’t want you to.  Heck, in many ways, your own government doesn’t want you to.  It takes courage to step up to the plate and really be a man.  I don’t know how to get the church in an uproar over this and stop the bleeding, but there has to be a way for us to get men and women to stop allowing culture to pull us in the wrong direction.  The divorce rate is the same in the church as outside the church.  7 out of 10 pastors calling Focus on the Family for help are calling for help with sexual addictions.  Worse yet, it is the one thing that no one in the church wants to blow the lid off of and get out of our churches.

Why is that?  Sometimes, being a male myself, I believe that it is because men want to be able to keep their own little hidden sins and pet pleasures without having to change and really be a man.  I know I have done that in the past.  Sadly, I think it would have been hard for me before to work up the courage to blare out my own iniquities even in cyberspace.  I find that getting the truth out really does make you a freer person.  Men struggle with faithfulness, and a large part of the struggle is based in an unwillingness to admit the problem.  As men, we should challenge ourselve to be more than just biologically male.  Stomp out the secret sins and pet pleasures.  Eradicate them from our lives.  It is hard!!!!  I recently gave up a part of my “sexual enjoyment” that was actually hampering my relationship with my wife and my family, because I was placing it above them.  It is stupidly hard to get rid of these things, but it is a call to purity that the church needs before we can successfully stop the bleeding of our hearts and souls by society.  Until we are willing to stand up and say “NO MORE,” we will continue to head down this path of no return, where marriage and faithfulness are less the norm than they are a curiosity.

I pray that men in the church will get down on their knees and pray for strength in fighting this killer of marriages.  I pray that we will be open and honest, to bring all of our resources against this ensnaring evil that Satan knows is so easy to bring us down with.  I will pray for the church and for men, and for myself to be a good example to my children.  I still recommend Fireproof and the Love Dare for anyone who is serious about bringing love and openness and restoration to their marriage.  They are great resources, and no one should be without them!

Love-The Many Splendored Thing

I have to confess, I am a sucker for romance movies.  Not goofy, dorky romance movies, but movies that have some backbone.  My wife and I watched Fireproof the other night at home.  Before I get into it, let me establish a few things at first.  First, Kirk Cameron has to be a pretty cool guy to have starred in the movie for free.  Second, the cinematography is somewhere between a low-budget film and a real Hollywood work.  Third, the acting is kind of wooden in a few places.  Finally, the voices are Southern.  I am immune to that, since I am Southern, but I just thought you should know.

Okay, here’s the deal.  Every married man on earth should have to watch this movie.  After watching it, I took the whole thing to heart and have really given myself to God fully in my marriage.  I think there is a reason why the divorce rate inside the church happens to be the same as the divorce rate outside of the church.  The reason is that we as men are not stepping up to the plate and getting rid of our pet sins:  lust, self-centeredness, immaturity, and the like.  We will not reflect God’s light as a church body until we are willing to give up the dark secrets that we as men continue to stubbornly hold onto.

Two challenges for any men that happen to read this:  One, rent or buy Fireproof, and then go get a copy of The Love Dare and take the dare.  Second, be open about your secret sins.  Tell your significant other, or anyone else to whom you can confess this.  The church needs to bring this out in the open so that we no longer allow Satan to have a foothold in our marriages and in our lives.

I am currently in the process of finding out exactly what I need to do in order to get a bill passed in my home state to create a family friendly shopping aisle at major department/grocery stores.  I feel that the longer we allow places like Wal-Mart, Target, Food Lion, Bi-Lo, and the like to continue shoving smut in our face on our way out the door, the longer we are also allowing one of many inroads into our hearts to poison our marriages.  If you are interested in helping me, please indicate so.  There is a reason why the book Every Man’s Battle was called that.  If we work together, we can help each other fight this hidden downfall and begin to turn the tide on sexual sins.